Sixth Avenue Heartache
by tsubasa07
Summary: Five years after his disappearance, Edward comes back from beyond the gate. Now trying to readjust, Ed is faced with his tragic past in the concentration camps. Will he be able to move on even with the help of Alphonse and Winry? EdxWin
1. Welcome Back

**Sixth Avenue Heartache **

**Chapter one: Welcome Back

* * *

**

It wasn't the best of all nights in Central. The rain poured heavily outside and the cold pre-winter air was starting to settle in. No one in their right mind would dare to stay out for too long. Further down the street a young man in a worn out trench coat slowly walked along the sidewalk hunched over and with a slight limp. To anyone inside, they would've thought the man looked like a walking corps. His clothes hung loosely on his thin frame and he carried himself with a lifeless expression on his face. With a sudden stop and a jerk of his head he finally looked up at his surroundings. A faint smile appeared on his face, adding some life to his dead- like state.

"I'm home."

* * *

"I'm glad everyone could make it tonight," Gracia said while she drank her coffee.

"Me too, the weather today is terrible," Hawkeye replied as she looked out a nearby window in the kitchen. The rain was pouring harder outside and the wind blew harshly against the window. "I heard it was going to get worse later on this week," she said casually.

"Really? That's not good," Gracia said with a frown, "Winry and Al are supposed to come down sometime for Elysia's birthday."

"Oh? Are you having a big party?"

"No, it's just going to be all of us. Maes was about to have a heart attack, he wanted to throw a huge party," Gracia explained with a small smile on her face.

"That sounds like him," Hawkeye said with a laugh.

In the other room Hughes, Mustang, Havoc, Fuery, Falman, and Breda were participating in an intense game of poker. It was made a tradition for this military group to meet every Saturday night for dinner and a poker game at Hughes' home. By this point they had a routine worked out for these nights. Hawkeye would come over early and help Gracia cook, Hughes stayed out of the way, and the rest came at different times. After dinner all the men would sit down in the living room and start their game while Gracia and Hawkeye drank coffee in the kitchen and talked.

"Ah damn! Fuery! How are you getting all the good cards?" Breda complained after loosing his fifth game in a row. Fuery shrugged while everyone else sighed.

"I'm out," Havoc said as he reached for a cigarette. Everyone else agreed and threw down their cards as well. Even Hughes, with his perfect poker face, lost a few times. Mustang got up and walked over to a chair that was by a window and sighed in annoyance.

"There goes my paycheck," Mustang muttered as he glared at the only two people that had won that night.

"Don't be such a soar loser Roy. Here, I'll give you this picture of Elysia to make you feel better!" Hughes said brightly with hearts forming around his head as he pulled out one of his many pictures of his daughter. "Isn't she just the cutes! You should've seen her yesterday! I swear, my darling Elysia…," he rambled on. Havoc managed to escape the terror and crack open a window so he could smoke, while the others were trapped. Eventually, Falman and Fuery got to cleaning up their mess while Hughes terrorized Roy and Breda.

"Maes, could you help me with this?" Gracia called out to her husband. Roy and Breda let out a sigh of relief as Hughes rushed to his wife's aid. After everyone was settled, the conversation stayed casual. News of Central's latest developments, promotions, and of course Elysia (A/N: guess who started that one).

"What about Fullmetal? Anything new, in his whereabouts I mean?" Roy asked once the conversations died down a bit. There was an awkward silence that suddenly fell in the room. Around the military, this subject was unspoken of. No one had the heart to bring up the sad story of the hero of the East. As much as Mustang wanted to deny it, he missed the Bean just as much as everyone else.

It had been five years since Alphonse got his body back and Edward's disappearance. They had all seen Al from time to time in Central and Winry stayed in contact with the Hughes', but no news of Ed. Rumors went around the country about him saying that he was either in hiding or locked away by the military. There were people who claimed to have seen Ed, but their information lead nowhere. Someone even claimed to be the Fullmetal Alchemist himself once, that person didn't get anything but a wrench thrown at his head, courtesy of Winry.

Hughes let out a sigh and answered, "No, nothing new".

* * *

The man kept on walking slowly down the road as he paid attention to his surroundings, taking up the familiar setting. By this point he was soaked to the bone, but he didn't care. His mind was telling him to keep moving despite the rain and cold atmosphere. Once again the man stopped, he looked up and noticed a big yellow house, with most of the lights on, a little ways down the street. He gave another weak smile and continued on towards the house.

* * *

"If Edward was still around, wouldn't someone have seen him by now? I mean, as popular as he was with everyone, it would be hard to hide out for this long without anyone catching on to his identity, wouldn't it?" Falman reasoned.

"That's true, but like you said, Ed was pretty well known. Even if he's not alive, someone would've at least been able to find his body," Havoc said as he put out another cigarette. No one could help but agree with this. The military had practically turned the country upside down trying to look for Ed, but they found nothing.

"What about Alphonse?" Hawkeye asked.

"What about him?" Mustang countered.

"Doesn't he know _anything _about where Edward is? They worked so hard to get back what they lost and now Al has returned back to normal, but at the expense of Ed," Hawkeye said in her usual monotone voice.

"From what Winry has told me, Alphonse barley remembered anything from when he was trapped in the armor, but now, most of his memory is back and he still doesn't know what happened to Ed," Gracia informed them and then added, "Is he still looking for Edward?"

"Yeah, we saw him a few months ago in Lior. Even Al is just kicking up dirt on this matter," Breda said while Havoc, Fuery and Falman nodded there heads in agreement.

"What are the higher ups saying about all of this?" Gracia asked curiously.

"Nothing, I think they want to stay out of it, but I heard that they might close the search and just label him dead," Mustang said with distain.

"It would be one hell of a funeral that's for sure," Hughes said, catching the room's attention to his statement.

"What do you mean?" Falman asked.

"Think about it. Edward had just as big of a knack for getting into trouble as he did for helping people. With everything that he's done, I'm sure a lot of those people would want to pay their respects to him," Hughes explained," and…"

_THUMP! THUMP!_

The sound of footsteps from upstairs interrupted Hughes' last comment. Every one watched the ceiling and followed the sound as it got closer to the stairs and finally a pair on small feet where seen running down the stairs. The feet, which were connected to a scared looking Elysia, came running into the room.

"What's wrong baby?" Gracia asked concerned about her child as Hughes walked towards her and picked her up.

"There's something scary outside. It looked like a _zombie_!" She cried as she clung to her father.

"Don't worry sweetie, I can promise that there aren't any zombies running around outside," Hughes tried to tell her. He looked towards his wife and she shrugged. _Kids, they make up the weirdest things,_ Gracia thought.

"But I saw it! It's coming here!" Elysia said as tears began to pour down her face. At that point Hughes could do nothing but try and calm her down while thinking: _My poor BABY! _

"Maybe it's just someone coming to visit sweetheart," he tried to reason to her.

"Coming to visit?" Gracia questioned, "I didn't think that anyone would be out there in this weather, I'll go see." Gracia left to go to the front door while Hughes tried to convince poor, little Elysia that zombies didn't exist as he took her upstairs to put her back to bed. As Gracia opened the door, she did see someone enter through the front gate. It was a man with clothes that hung loosely on him and was soaked from head to toe. She kept her eyes on him, trying to see if she recognized the figure, as he approached. Then, he suddenly stopped and looked up at her.

Gracia let out a gasp as she saw two familiar amber colored eyes looking back at her and she realized who the man was.

"E…ed…ward?" she faintly called out in disbelief. He continued to stare at her as if he didn't recognize her. As the rain continued to descend, a sudden look of awareness crossed his face and he slowly let a weak smile appear on his face. Gracia looked at him with both happiness and shock. They had just been talking and worrying about him and here he was, standing right in front of her.

"It's…its good… good to see you again," Ed strained with his words as he winced in pain. As he tried to take a step forward he started to sway back and forth until he finally collapsed on the cold, stone ground.

"ED!" Gracia shrieked as she immediately ran out to retrieve and get him out of the rain. She quickly tried to lift him up and get him inside. As Hughes came down the stairs he saw his wife outside trying to drag someone into the house and rushed to help her. Not paying the rain any attention, he took the person from her and started to carry him inside to the living room with Gracia following close behind him.

"Quick! Someone get some towels and a blanket," Hughes yelled. Fuery, who was nearby, saw what was happening and rushed to do as he was told. As Hughes looked down at the boy in his arms he suddenly recognized who it was that he was carrying.

"Ed?" he asked shocked and tried to observe to boy more closely. "It is you!" he announced both overjoyed and worried. His announcement had caught the room's attention and they all stared at the boy in Hughes' arms in disbelief.

Not paying attention to their stares, Hughes hurried over to the couch and placed Ed on it. Once he was able to get a proper look at Edward he began to notice more things about his appearance. His hair was shorter than ever, as if someone had shaved it at one point and it was just now growing out, and his auto-mail arm was missing. But what worried Hughes the most was the fact that Ed was so light to carry. Just looking at him gave you the impression that he was half starved. Hughes' thoughts were soon interrupted once Hawkeye appeared by his side.

To his surprise, she looked deeply worried. He knew that Hawkeye always had a soft spot for the Elric brothers, but he never really expected her to be so openly concerned about one of them. Although he couldn't blame her, he too was worried about Edward. Ever since he got to know Ed and his little brother Al, he always thought of them like family. Judging by the expressions on the rest of the military group, who were in his living room, they thought of Ed in the same way.

"Here they are," Fuery said as he handed the towels and blankets to Gracia.

"Thanks, I need to take off that coat and his shirt so I can dry him off," Gracia said as she approached Ed's unconscious form lying on the couch. While she was doing this, everyone in the room moved behind her to watch. No one knew what Ed was doing here or where he had been, but by the looks of him it was obvious that he needed immediate attention.

Getting his coat off was easy since his auto-mail arm was missing, but his actual shirt proved to be more difficult. Since he was soaked, his shirt stuck to his skin and it became obvious that he had some open wounds because of a few blood spots that showed on his clothing. Carefully, Gracia unbuttoned the shirt and peeled it off from Edward's skin. Once it was off, Gracia let out a gasp and backed away from Ed.

His body was practically just skin and bones and he had scars, gashes, and bruises all over. On his left forearm were numbers that were crudely tattooed on. Havoc let out a low whistle while the others stood there, shocked at what they were looking at. Edward had apparently been outside for some time. His lips had a blue tint to them and his body was ice cold. His breathing was harsh and you could practically see his heart beating in his chest.

"My god," Hawkeye said, "what happened to him?" This question had gone through everyone's head as they stared at Ed. What could've happened that cause him to look the way he did?

"I didn't even know it was possible to be in that state and still live," Havoc muttered to no one in particular.

"It's not good, that's for sure," Falman replied. The room silently agreed with him as they continued to stare at him, thinking and waiting for something to happen. Their thoughts were interrupted when Ed let out a low moan of pain and slowly opened his eyes. He gazed at the ceiling and remained there for a few moments as if to try and figure out where he was.

Eventually, his amber eyes tore themselves away from the ceiling and looked to the side. Instead of seeing an empty room, like he thought he was in, he saw eight familiar pairs of eyes staring back at him. He gave them a forced smile, as if to tell them that he was alright, and passed out once again.

* * *

**Author's Note: Alright! That was the first chapter of SIXTH AVENUE HEARTACHE! I hope you all liked it and hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter out soon. As you all know I do not own FMA or any of the characters (although I wish I did…). **

**Also, to clear some stuff up for everyone; I'm not going to have any themes from the Full Metal Alchemist Movie: COS in here (characters, plot, nothing… I haven't even seen it so I'm not going to try and guess around …), but the story does pick up 5 yrs. after the anime series and Ed is coming back from Germany around the time WWII is happening. So hopefully this won't be a problem for any of you to follow. Please Review! I would love to hear what you think!**


	2. Fix You

**Author's Note: Thanks for all of your great reviews! They are very much appreciated! And to clear something up that I forgot to mention… Hughes is ALIVE! He's one of my favorite characters and I was so sad when he died, so yeah…. on with the story! Enjoy!**

**Sixth Avenue Heartache **

**Chapter two: Fix You

* * *

**

The rest of the night went by slowly. Ed was constantly in and out of consciousness and started to have a fever after being outside, for god knows how long, in the rain. The moment his fever kicked in the whole house had been in constant movement. Gracia and Hawkeye remained with Ed and took turns watching over him through out the night, tending to whatever needed to be done.

By morning Ed's fever had gone down and everyone was given a chance to rest. Hughes had moved him upstairs into one of the guest bedrooms while Hawkeye and Gracia followed to keep an eye on Ed, incase his fever broke out again. As the hours past, nothing too terrible, that one of the two women couldn't handle, occurred.

Downstairs, Hughes and Mustang remained silent in the kitchen, trapped in their own thoughts while the other four officers (Fuery, Havoc, Falman, and Breda) tried to catch up on some missed sleep in the living room.

"What the hell happened to him?" Hughes said breaking the quiet atmosphere.

"Who knows, for all we know he could've gone on a hunger strike," Mustang said lightly.

"_NO_!" Hughes slammed his fists on the table, obviously missing Roy's attempt to lighten the mood. "Why was he like that? _Why_? We've searched everywhere for him and still found nothing! So how in the _hell_ could he have just come up out of nowhere, like that, half _dead_!" he continued to yell, not caring about anyone waking up. Hughes looked down at the floor with a doleful expression after his outburst. Being caught off guard by Hughes' unusual attitude, Roy sat there stunned. In attempts to comfort his friend, he got up and walked towards one of the cabinets near the stove and pulled out two shot glasses and a large bottle of liquor.

"I would be lying to you if I said that I knew why he was like that, but we did the best we could to find him," Roy told Hughes as he opened the bottle and dispensed the liquid into the glasses.

"It wasn't good enough," Hughes muttered, still down.

"True, but all we can do is suck it up and deal with it," Roy said in a firm tone. Hughes looked up at his friend and gave a sad smile as he took one of the shots.

"Humph… I guess you're right, for once," Hughes smirked as he drank his shot. When his drink was gone, he continued to sit and stare at his empty glass while Roy was lost in his thoughts. The room was once again silent, but both men didn't notice the two figures, who had been listening in on their conversation, walk away.

* * *

"Poor Maes, I've never seen him that upset," Gracia observed as she walked up the stairs. Hughes' sudden yelling had caught the women's attention, so naturally they had gone to see what was going on. 

"He's just as worried as everyone else," Hawkeye observed.

"Yeah, he had always tried to look out for Edward when ever he could. I guess, with Ed coming back in the state that he did, Maes blames himself somehow," Gracia said sadly as she and Hawkeye walked back into the room Ed was sleeping in. "Roy looked just as worried too," she added quietly.

"In a weird way, Ed is like family to the military. We've all known him since he joined us and…," Hawkeye was cut off by Edwards movements. He began to stir in his sleep and slowly opened his eyes once more.

"Oh! You're awake. How are you feeling?" Gracia questioned as she sat by his side and rested her hand on his forehead. "Your fever is down thankfully." Edward didn't respond to her and barely acknowledged her speaking to him. He continued to stare off in the distance while Hawkeye and Gracia patiently waited for him to respond. Eventually, Ed become conscious that there were other people beside him and he looked towards them expecting them to say something to him.

Seeing that they weren't, he decided to speak up, "long times no see, huh?" he said in a raspy voice as a smile appeared on his face.

"It's good to have you back Fullmetal," Hawkeye said as she approached the bed side. Ed flinched at the sound of his military-given name. He looked down at his arm and threw a glare towards the crude numbers on his forearm.

"Not so much 'fullmetal' as I was back then, huh?" he responded bitterly as he tied to sit up, but gave up and lied back down. Both the women looked at him sadly, but before anyone could say anything to console him, small footsteps were heard nearby. Waiting a few minutes, the door slowly opened to reveal Elysia, who had just woken up.

"Mommy, what's going on? Why is Aunty Riza still here? Did she spend the night?" Elysia questioned as she began to walk closer to her mother and "Aunty Riza." Once she grasped that there was a third person in the room, she looked at him and immediately became scared. "It's the _zombie_!" she shrieked and backed away.

Trying to find the right words, Gracia said, "Since when was your big brother Edward a zombie?"

"Big…brother?" Elysia asked unsure as she studied Ed's face for a few moments, Ed stared back at her as well, observing how much she had grown. After a few moments past a bright smile appeared on her face, "Big brother Ed! You're back!" she said cheerfully as she rushed over to his side. "You don't look so good, are you sick?"

Ed opened his mouth to respond, but Gracia beat him to it, "yes sweetie, Ed is sick. So we have to help him get better okay?"

"Okay!"

"That's my girl, now I want you to go downstairs and tell your dad and Uncle Roy that Ed is awake," Gracia told her kindly. Elysia immediately turned around to leave and followed her mother's request, hoping that it would help her big brother to get better.

"Daddy, Daddy! Big brother Ed is _back_! Come quick!" she yelled excitedly as she ran out of the room and down the stairs.

"Zombie?" Ed questioned,"I guess I'm not looking so good, huh?" he continued saying to the women in the room. All they could do was smile in response. Sudden movements could be heard downstairs and a stampede soon came rushing upstairs.

"Edward!" Hughes exclaimed while busting open the door. The rest of the military group came in closely behind him and Elysia weaved her way past them to return to Ed's side.

"Hey," Ed said giving them a meek smile. An awkward silence filled the room and Gracia soon stood up and ushered everyone out saying that he needed his rest. Before leaving, she turned towards Ed and gave him a smile then left. Now all alone in the room, Ed took in his surroundings. It was still early in the morning from what he could tell. He suddenly let out a heavy sigh. There wasn't much that he could do in his current state except lie there.

In his heart, he knew that he was happy to be back, but that didn't stop the sick feeling in him. He didn't deserve to have this kind of happiness. Why would he? Ed's thoughts didn't go on for long. He let out a tired yawn and closed his eyes while he waited for the nightmares of the past to come.

* * *

_"Did you hear about that Aryan crap- theory that's going around?" a dark haired man said to his companion._

_"Yeah, it doesn't make much sense. If you ask me this entire Aryan and Nazi party thing is all stupid," the dark haired man's companion said._

_"You'd better watch your mouth Ed. Who knows what will happen to you if one of those Nazis catches you saying that kind of stuff," Ed's friend said to him in a worried whisper._

_"You worry too much Matthias. All of this shit will be over soon. I mean, who the hell is dense enough to buy all of this Aryan purity crap and Nazi ideas?" Ed told Matthias with confidence. _

_"You're right! What's the worse that could happen?" Matthias responded with a smile.

* * *

_

Edward's eyes suddenly snapped open and wave of sadness soon followed in his wake. Letting out a heavy sigh, he again closed his eyes as his memories flooded his mind. Those dreams haunted him whether he was asleep or not. It was a constant reminder of what he had left behind. Ed didn't have much time to think about a lot because he soon became alerted that he wasn't alone in the room. Quickly opening his eyes once more, he looked to the side and saw that Hughes, who was currently staring back at him with a smile, was sitting in a chair near his bed.

"Rise and shine!" he said with a goofy smilewhile raising a hand to wave at him. "You've been asleep for a few hours, are you hungry?" Edward nodded his head in response.

"What? Can't speak now?" Hughes teased.

"What do you want me to say?" Ed questioned in a dull tone.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to Ed, but you gave us all quite a scare coming in the state that you're in."

"Sorry, I had nowhere else to go," Edward said in a dejectedly. At this, Hughes became concerned. In any normal situation, Ed would've just given some smart-ass comeback, not say sorry. Hell, he never even heard Ed say sorry for anything, even if he was at fault.

Getting up to get Edward some food, Hughes gave him a sad smile of understanding and left the room. Shutting the door quietly behind him, Hughes ventured down the stairs and into the kitchen where Roy, Hawkeye, and Gracia were waiting. Looking around and seeing that everyone else was gone, he figured that they had gone home.

"So, is he awake yet?" Mustang inquired while taking a sip of his coffee.

"Yeah, I'm getting some food to bring back up to him," Hughes retorted while gathering the food that Gracia had made especially for Ed.

"Did he say anything?" Hawkeye questioned.

"Yeah, and with what little that he did say, I can tell you that he's changed a lot."

"Good change or bad?" Gracia asked becoming concerned.

"I'm not sure, but I would say it's a bad change. While I was up there trying to talk to him, it was as if he didn't have any will to even open his eyes, let alone say something with any real emotion." The room remained silent, letting Hughes' words sink in. Without another word, Hughes placed Ed's food on a tray and began to walk back to the guest room.

* * *

Finally reaching the top of the stairs, Hughes entered the room and saw that Ed was in the same position that he was in when he first woke up; turned on his side and eyes closed. Hughes looked at Ed and no longer saw the Fullmetal Alchemist and Hero of the East lying in the bed, but a little boy who had seen too much and had been forced to grow up too fast. Approaching Ed, Hughes placed the tray on the bed and sat down it the chair that he had occupied. Edward sat up and stared at the food, beef stew and a roll, his favorite. 

"You should hurry up and eat that, it'll get cold soon."

"Oh, right," Ed mumbled and picked up a spoon to eat the stew. In the past, Ed had proven to be a pig when it came to eating. Now though, he slowly started to eat it and didn't inhale anything and everything that was on his plate. Not long after, he placed his spoon down and picked at a roll. Hughes watched him eat and noticed his lack of an apatite. _I'm not surprised_, he thought, _with how skinny he is right now, I'm sure his stomach can barley hold any food in._

"Are you done?" Hughes asked.

"Yeah, sorry I couldn't finish it. It was good though, I wouldn't have been allowed to eat anything like that back there," Edward said quietly to himself more than to Hughes. That remark caught Hughes' attention.

"What do you mean?" no response, so Hughes continued to ask questions in hopes that Ed would open up to him. "I can tell by looking at you that you haven't eaten in a decent meal in awhile, but what do you mean by _allowed'_ and back _there_?" he repeated.

Ed once again gave no answer. Hughes didn't understand. _Did someone try to starve him on purpose? But why would anyone do that to a person?_ Questions continued to fly through Hughes' head. Mixed emotions weld up inside of him: worry, fear, anger, and sadness. He couldn't begin to imagine what Ed might have gone through. Seeing that Ed wasn't going to answer any of his questions, Hughes picked up the tray and left the room.

_What the hell happened to you Edward?_


	3. Everything I'm Not

**Sixth Avenue Heartache **

**Chapter three: Everything I'm Not

* * *

**

_"I give up. It was stupid of me to think that I could come back here and pick up were everything left off. Hell, for all I know, Al didn't make it and all I managed to do is send my self to that shit-hole and come back five years later. I'm so… stupid…" Ed said to himself as he sat down. He took in his surroundings and found that he didn't know where he was. From where he sat, he could see nothing but darkness. The air smelled as though something foul was burning in the distance and the ground he sat on was stone cold._

_"What makes you think that you're welcome home?" a voice asked him, interrupting his thoughts._ _Ed tuned around and saw that there was no one there; he was all alone in an empty void._

"Edward…" another voice called out to him. It sounded so familiar, but he couldn't picture a face to the person calling him.

"_They'll soon realize that you're nothing," Edward turned around once more and stared into a mirror-image that looked like him. It stared back for awhile, copying Ed's every movement; tilting its head, rising and arm, and touching the side of its face. With a sudden jerk, the image stopped following, its face twisted into a cruel smile and spat out, "Look at your self, how pathetic."_

_"Shut up," Ed said to it, not surprised that it moved. _

"Edward…" the familiar voice called out to him once again.

_"Why did you even come back? What's the point? You were ready to die back there with everyone else. Die in that miserable place with the rest of the miserable people," The image started to circle around Ed, "Admit it; you gave up; on yourself and everything else."_

_"Stop it…" Edward responded weakly. _

_"What makes you think that you can just run away while thousands of people are left behind to die? Thousands of people who are still wanting to live."_

"Ed wake up…" again, the voice called out. Edward looked around desperately for the person calling out to him. No one.

_"You won't find any help in here Edward. No matter how hard you try to run from me, I'll always be able to keep up. There is no escape from the mind, you know that."_

_"Leave me alone!"_

_"So what are you going to do now, Mr. Hero of the People?" Ed's reflection leered at him. "Crawl in your shell? You know that you can't fight forever, but then again, you already know that, don't you? Look at yourself, your body is practically wasted away; you're nothing but an empty shell looking for its soul."_

"Ed, come on, wake up…" the voice sounded desperate now.

_"Well, it seems that our conversation must come to and end now. Until next time," the image vanished, leaving Edward alone once more while the words echoed in his head.

* * *

_

"Damn! He's not waking up," Roy said anxiously trying to keep Ed from thrashing back and forth. Hours had past since Hughes had brought up his meal and his fever had come back. Normally, Gracia or Hawkeye would've been there to take care of the matter, but after watching Ed the whole night they both needed to sleep. So, that left Hughes and Roy.

"His fever isn't as bad as it was at first and it's going down, thankfully," Hughes struggled to say as he too tried to stop Edward from thrashing. After a few minutes, Ed stopped and finally relaxed into a silent sleep. The men let out a sigh of relief and sat down in some chairs near by.

"Have you asked him about what he said earlier?" Roy questioned.

"No, I haven't had the time to. Even if I did, I don't think he'll tell me."

"Why not? Ed has always been open with you in the past."

"True, but the Edward lying here is different from the one back then. He's changed Roy," Hughes said dejectedly.

"Changed how?"

"I don't know. It's just something about him," Hughes said. Roy gave no response to his friend's observation, but when he looked at Edward he could see the some of the changes. His physical appearance was completely different. Despite how skinny he was, Ed had grown quite a bit. _I guess I can't call him short anymore,_ Roy thought to himself. A sudden fear washed over him as he continued to stare at Ed, _what if he's not the same in personality? It's possible, after coming back from god knows where and saying things like how he wasn't allowed to eat properly._ This thought disturbed Roy, what exactly happened to him?

They sat there in silence for some time before Gracia walked quietly in the room. She didn't look as tired as she was before she went to sleep which was an improvement. She and Hawkeye looked exhausted before Hughes sent them upstairs to bed.

"Where's Hawkeye?" Roy questioned.

"She's still asleep."

"Really?" Roy said in a disbelieving tone. For as long as he's known Riza Hawkeye, not once has she ever slept in or been late for anything.

"Yeah, she was pretty worn out. I'm surprise _I_ didn't sleep in longer," Gracia mused and then added, "So, how's he been?" she walked over to Ed's side and placed her hand on his forehead.

"He's been better, that's for sure," Roy informed her. Gracia sighed and shook her head.

"His fever is only making his recovery harder. If we're lucky, it'll pass soon and it'll be easier to get him back to a healthy state," she explained. "I do hope he'll get better soon. Or at least better enough to see Winry and Alphonse. They'll be so happy to see him again."

"When are they coming again?" Hughes asked as he tried to remember the exact time.

"In two days. I think Winry will be staying in Elysia's room and we can pull out an extra mattress for Al," Gracia thought out loud.

"I don't know who will be more excited to see him, Winry or Alphonse," Hughes wondered.

* * *

Alphonse sat near the river's edge as the crisp autumn air blew against him. The wind and flowing water soothed him some how, it was strange that he never realized it before. The more he thought about it, he began to understand who had brought that comfort to his attention; his older brother, Edward. Thinking about Ed made him frown suddenly and a wave of sadness washed over him.

It's been five years since Ed's disappearance and after four years and 7 months of searching for him, Alphonse still hadn't found a trace of his brother. Sure, he had found out about the rumors going around about Edward, but none of it was true. Ed wouldn't let the state lock him away and he wouldn't runaway without letting Al know where he was. Alphonse's heart sank lower by the thought that Edward might be, in fact, _dead_. He quickly dismissed the thought, but even if he was hiding somewhere, people are bound to notice and have rumors flying around about the famous Fullmetal Alchemist hiding out some place.

"Brother, where are you?" Alphonse desperately asked to no one in particular. He let out a sigh and decided to get up. He had been in that same spot for hours and Winry was probably wondering where he was. It seemed like whenever he came back to his hometown, unwanted memories and thoughts would dig their way out from the hole that he had buried them in. After all, this was the place where their journey had started; that one mistake had cost a great deal.

The way back to the house was quiet. No one seemed to want to go outside at this time of day. Not that it bothered Al; he preferred to be alone at the moment. Getting closer to the house, he quickened his pace forward. When he reached the steps up to the house, Al saw that Den, who was lying near the door, lift his head in acknowledgement to Al's presence.

"Hey there, Den," he patted the dog's head and opened the door to the house.

"Winry, I'm back," He called out as he closed the door behind him. Looking around, he saw the house in the same order when he had left. The house was quiet without Aunt Pinako somewhere. She had taken to trip to Rushvalley to inspect the latest models of automail, leaving only Winry and himself.

_Bang!_

The loud sound caught Al's attention and he looked up. If memory served him right, Winry's room was right above him. Before he could call out to Winry again, her voice called out.

"Hey Al, could you come up here and help me with this?" Winry yelled from upstairs. On the way up, Al could hear Winry moving things around, his kind-nature getting the better of him, he went in to help.

"What is all of this?" he asked curiously as he entered her room.

"My luggage and everything I'll need on the trip, what else? We'll be leaving around noon tomorrow, so you need to pack soon," she told him slightly out of breath from running around her room trying to find the necessary items.

"If we're leaving at noon, then why are you packing now, and so much for that matter? We'll only be gone for a week," Al informed her with a laugh.

"I know that, but I need all of this stuff. As for packing right now, I still need to finish up on some things around the shop tomorrow before we leave," Winry answered. Alphonse just laughed and shook his head. For the tomboy that Winry was, she could be such a girly-girl too. This thought made Al laugh harder and caused Winry to stare at him with a questioning look on her face.

"What did you need help with?" Al asked finally when his laughter died down.

"Oh yeah, I need you to carry these two things," she pointed to two massive suitcases, "and take them downstairs. Could you do that for me?" Alphonse eyed the luggage and gave a silent sigh; they looked to be at least ninety pounds each.

"Sure," he said hesitantly as he approached the luggage. Despite how they looked, they proved to be heavier. One by one al struggled to take them down the stairs and place them somewhere out of the way. By the time he had carried the last suitcase down, he was exhausted. _What does she have in there?_ Al thought as he went back up to Winry's room. When he got in there he saw that she was no longer moving around, but staring at something in her hands. Getting closer to see what had grabbed her attention, Alphonse saw that it was a picture of himself, Winry, and Ed when they were little.

"I've always loved this picture," she said with a sad smile and turned to show Al the picture. They had taken it years ago, before Ed and Al's mother died, during the spring. They had insisted to go on a picnic that day by the river.

"Ha, yeah; that and the one where Ed is going too high on the swing," Al reminded her. "Remember how he was yelling at us to stop the swing?" he recalled with a slight laugh.

"Yeah, I remember that. He flew off of it not long after and went flying," Winry joined in on Al's laughing. Moments later, their laughter died down and their once happy faces turned to sorrow. And awkward silence filled the room. Both of them had their thoughts suddenly on Edward. "Did you find anything about Edward?" she asked softly.

"No, every where I go I still end up with the same information."

"When…" Winry's shoulders began to shake as she let out a sob, "when do you think he'll come back?" she asked looking him in the eyes. Al's heart shattered the moment she stared at him. Her eyes were no longer cheerful, but sad. Alphonse began to curse himself for encouraging the subject of Edward instead of stopping it. He should've known that this would happen. No matter how hard either of them tried to hide it, Edward's absence was still felt.

"He'll come back," Al reassured, "he has to."

* * *

**Author's Note: Yeah! Chapter 3 is done! Sorry this took me awhile to get posted, school got in the way. (Curse it!) So yeah, I hope all of you enjoyed this chapter! The next one will have what all of you've been waiting for: EDxALxWINRY reunion! Make sure to bring the tissues!**


	4. Fall Away

**Author's Note: I'm really sorry that this took me so long to get out! But don't worry! I'm on summer vacation now, so I'll have more time to write and hopefully I'll be able to update more often. Thank you for all of your reviews and special thanks to The New Fullmetal Alchemist for cheering me on!**

**Sixth Avenue Heartache **

**Chapter four: Fall Away

* * *

**

Gracia walked up the stairs while holding a large first aid kit and some bandages. Careful not to drop anything, she opened the door to Edward's room. Seeing that he was actually awake, Gracia smiled warmly at him and went over to help him sit up on his bed. Ed gave a weak smile as Gracia started to take his old bandages off. His condition was still bad, but at least his fever was finally gone.

"How are you feeling today?" she asked as she carefully took off another bandage from his shoulder.

"Good, I guess," Edward tried not to move too much.

"You know, you're lucky that your fever went away when it did. Other wise you'd be in some trouble," Gracia informed him. "With the condition you're in now physically, that fever of yours would only cause more problems for you to get better."

"Why didn't you just put me in a hospital? I'm sure that they'd be able to care for me just as well," Ed wondered. Gracia sighed and shook her head.

"Edward, I thought it was obvious," she laughed, "we can't take you to a hospital. You've been gone for five years; most people think you're dead. We couldn't just carry you in there; the military would be all over you and with the state that you're in now, you won't be able to shake them off," Gracia said as she reached over to get some alcohol for his wounds. It made sense to Ed. You can't just suddenly walk in after such a long absence and act as if you've only been gone for a few weeks.

"I guess you're right," Ed said as he winced at the sudden pain of alcohol on one of his cuts. Gracia continued the process of removing bandages, cleaning wounds, then wrapping them back up. As she checked over her work, Gracia frowned at the sight of Ed's body. There were so many cuts and bruises on him, not to mention that he looked half starved.

"Edward, you need to make sure and eat plenty of food and get lots of rest," Gracia said in a motherly tone. Ed nodded his head slowly in response. "I don't like seeing you this way," she added in a sad tone, "so you have to get better soon, okay?"

"I will," Ed said as he looked up to give her a small smile. Taking the now silent room as an opportunity to tell Ed about the guests that would be arriving, Gracia eased into the subject.

"So Ed, other than the people who were there the night you came back, including myself, you haven't seen anyone else, am I right?" she said casually, hoping to catch Ed's attention. Seeing that it didn't, she continued, "and I'm guessing that you haven't had the chance to call anyone in particular either. Oh well, I'm sure they'll understand, I mean you've been sick ever since you got here," Ed's attention was now on her.

"Who are 'they' exactly?" he questioned; he still didn't look up at Gracia.

"One of your friends and family member," she said brightly. Ed immediately froze and slowly looked up at her. "They'll be coming later on today. Maes is going to pick them up at the train station and bring them here," Gracia informed him.

"Al…? Al's coming? He's alright?" he asked her in a mixed voice of shock and worry for his brother's well-being. Gracia was stunned at his questions. He didn't' know?

"Um… yes, of course he's alright. He's been looking for you ever since you disappeared," she told him. A small smile appeared on Ed's face at this catching Gracia by surprise.

"What about Winry? How is she?" he questioned suddenly, his eyes lighting up a bit. Gracia proceeded to tell him about Winry and Alphonse in great detail as Ed hung on every word she said. By the time that she was done, Ed had a small smile on his face, but even his smile was mixed with sadness. It seemed that even the happiest things couldn't release the misery that was imbedded in him.

Gracia frowned at this. "You know, if you ever need to talk about something, you can always come to me. You can't keep things bottled up inside forever Edward. You'll have to let it out eventually," she tried to comfort him.

"I know," Ed said quietly. Seeing that he wasn't going to say anything else, Gracia decided that it would be best to just leave him alone for the time being.

"Well, I'd better get back downstairs. You can come down any time you'd like to get something to eat or better yet, I'll bring something up to you. With the state of your body, it might take awhile to completely regain your strength," she explained to him. Edward nodded in response. With that, Gracia left the room, shutting the door quietly.

Left alone once more, Ed sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "Maybe things are starting to look up for me," he said in a hopeful voice. Ed suddenly hung his head low and added in a dejected voice, "who the hell am I trying to fool? Humph, I bet you're having a real laugh up there, huh Matthias? Things can't go back to the way they were, no matter how hard I try."

Edward once again let out a heavy sigh and brought his one good arm to his head and ruffled what little hair he had left. Dropping his arm, Ed fell back on his bed and closed his eyes. Despite the sinking feeling in him, he couldn't help but smile at the thought of seeing Al and Winry again. Edward's once calm face adopted a twitch at the thought of Winry and his auto-mail. She was going to be pissed, but even at that Edward still let out a small laugh.

* * *

"Al! Hurry up or we'll miss the train!" Winry yelled as she rushed for the train.

"I know, I know! I'm trying!" Al yelled back. He struggled to keep up and hold all of the luggage at the same time. As Winry boarded the train she turned around once more and yelled at him to hurry up. _I wouldn't be going this slow if you held some of the bags instead of just running off with that one piece of luggage_, Al grumbled to himself. As he finally got on the train, Al looked around for Winry.

"Al, I'm over here. This compartment is empty," she called to him. Al struggled to get there, but made it in the end. "It's a good thing that not many people are on the train today or we wouldn't have gotten this whole compartment to ourselves," Winry said cheerfully as she grabbed some of the bags from Al and threw them on the overhead above their seats.

The train whistled, signaling its departure, and then set off. The trip to Central from Risenbool would take awhile, so Al and Winry tried to get comfortable in their seats while talking about nothing in particular.

"So, what's in that bag?" Al questioned.

"Which bag?" Winry asked curiously as she glanced at all the luggage that she and Al had carried on.

"The only one that you carried," Al pointed out.

"Oh! That one," She exclaimed. "It's just some auto-mail," Winry said in a tone that told Al to not ask about it anymore. Taking the hint, Al didn't question it any further. He had noticed awhile back, that whenever Winry went some where for a period of time, that she would always carry that suitcase with her, but never unpack it. Whenever Al would ask about it though, Winry always gave him the same response; _it's just some auto-mail_.

The ride went uneventful for however long that they were on it. At some point, Winry had fallen asleep while Al was staring out the window, taking in the scenery that he was passing by. As he starred out, Al's eyes eventually became heavy and he found it difficult to keep his head up. Before Alphonse knew it, he too had fallen asleep.

After what seemed like minutes, Al became aware of the sound of Winry's voice. "Al, come on. You have to get up now. We're here in Central," her voice continued. Seeing that it didn't do much good to get him up, she decided to take a different approach. "Wake up!" she yelled as she punched him in the shoulder. Al's eyes flew open at the sudden pain in his arm.

"Ouch! What was that for?" he asked her as he tried to get rid of the pain.

"We have to get off the train now, silly," Winry reasoned as she picked up the bags and opened the door to their compartment so she could leave. Following her lead, Al grabbed the remaining bags and left. As they walked off the train, they both looked for Maes Hughes, who had offered to pick them up.

"There he is," Al exclaimed as he spotted Hughes, who was waving at them. Winry called out to him and walked over, Al following closely behind her.

"Hey guys, long time no see," Hughes greeted them with his usual grin.

"It's good to see you Mr. Hughes," Winry told him with a bright smile on her face. Al gave him a cheerful smile as well.

"Let me help you with some of those Al," Hughes offered.

"Oh, thanks," Al responded as Hughes grabbed one of the many bags that he was holding.

"Well, got everything?" he asked. Winry and Al nodded in response. "Okay then! I parked the car close by, so why don't we get going." As they walked to the car, Hughes told them what's been going on in Central since their last visit and, of course, Elysia. Once they got in the car and started to drive off, Hughes had finished his rambling about his family and Alphonse took this opportunity to ask Hughes something.

"Have you heard anything about Ed?" he asked quietly from the back seat. Hughes looked at him through the rearview mirror and smiled. Al always asked him the same question every time he came to Central, and every time Hughes would have to disappoint him. Luckily, this time, he wouldn't have to see the sad faces on both Alphonse and Winry.

"Actually, I have heard something," he told them. Winry and Al's attention was immediately drawn to him as he said this.

"You have? Really?" Winry asked him hopefully.

"What is it? Do you know where he is?" Al asked with the same hopeful voice as Winry. Deciding that it would be best to tell them about Ed now rather than later, Hughes pulled over and stopped the car. He looked down for a moment, trying to figure out how to tell them without causing them to panic too much.

"Yeah, I know where he is," Hughes said.

"Are you serious!" Al said excitedly.

"How is he? Is he alright?" Winry questioned him, she too was getting excited.

"Listen," Hughes said seriously. Al and Winry's excitement dwindled at the tone of his voice, but they waited for him to continue. "Edward is… Edward isn't doing too well right now. He's sick, really sick." He told them sadly. Hughes hated to tell them this. They were so excited to hear about Ed's return and now he had to tell them this terrible news.

"What?" Al said quietly as his face adopted a worried look on it. Winry became silent with worry. Hughes began to tell them of Edward's arrival at his house up until that morning when he had last seen him. At this point, Winry had tears running down her face and Al became quiet as he absorbed the information.

"We would've called, but this didn't seem like the appropriate thing to tell you over the phone," Hughes explained to the two, as they nodded in agreement. "He really needs the both of you," he added with a sad tone. "He doesn't talk or eat as much anymore. We're lucky if he says more than three words to us."

"What happened to him?" Winry finally spoke up.

"I have no idea, but where ever Edward was, it might as well have been hell itself." Hughes started the car and began driving towards his home once more. The rest of the ride was quiet; everyone was lost in their own thoughts. Before they knew it, they had arrived at the Hughes' home. Hughes parked the car and turned around once more to give them a smile. Getting out of the car and grabbing the luggage, the three made their way to the house. Unlocking to front door, Hughes stepped in and placed the luggage by the staircase.

"You can go see him now if you'd like, he's in the second room on the right. I'll be in the kitchen telling Gracia that you're here," Hughes gave them an encouraging smile and walked away towards the kitchen. Left alone, Al and Winry looked at each other, silently questioning one another as to what they should do. After a few moments, Al placed a hand on Winry's shoulder and began to walk up the stairs with Winry following close behind him.

They walked up the stairs for what seemed like forever. Each step seemed to take more and more effort to get up. Finally, they reached the top and began walking towards the second room on the right.

"Everything will be okay," Al told Winry as they stood in front of the door to Ed's room.

"You're right Al, everything will be alright," Winry said as if to reassure herself. Alphonse reached over and opened the door. Looking in, they saw Edward propped up against the headboard of his bed, starring out the window across the room. He didn't seem to notice the two people standing there at first, but eventually turned his head to look at whoever was standing there. As he looked at them for the first time in years, Ed gave them a small smile.

"Hey Al… Winry," he said quietly. Winry felt tears pouring down her face as she took in his appearance. His whole chest was covered in bandages and he looked starved. His face, despite the smile that he had on, looked so sad and his hair was practically gone. She couldn't help but cry at the sight of him.

"Ed… Edward," she said slowly as she walked towards him and stopped in front of his bed. Winry sat down next to him and reached up to touch his face, as if to make sure that he was really there and it wasn't all a dream.

"Yeah, it's me," he responded. Winry looked straight into his familiar amber eyes as her tears continued to pour down her face.

"You're really here," she quietly said.

"Don't cry," Edward reached up to wipe some of the tears away from her face. "Please don't cry." At this point, Winry embraced Edward in a tight, but gentle hug. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and continued to cry. Unsure of what to do, Edward awkwardly placed his one arm around her and tried to comfort her.

"Edward, I've missed you so much," Winry told him.

"I've missed you too Win," he said comfortingly. Winry continued to cry and hug him for a few minutes, but eventually let go and got up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to come in here and cry all over you," she said, wiping away any remaining tears.

"It's okay," Ed responded as he looked towards the door way to find that Alphonse was still standing there, but had tears streaming down his face. Edward gave him a questioning look and smiled. "I'm glad you're alright Al," he said.

"Brother…" Al choked out; Edward starred at Al and watched as he walked over to him and sat down where Winry once was. Without a second thought, Alphonse hugged his brother tightly and buried his head on Ed's shoulder.

"Brother, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Al's voice was muffled, but still sounded choked up from the tears. The room remained quiet, except for the sound of crying, for a few moments until Ed finally spoke.

"Stupid," he said with some difficulty as his eyes began to water. "What do you have to be sorry about?" Ed asked as his tears began to fall slowly from his eyes.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't find you sooner. I'm sorry that this happened to you. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to help you," Al's muffled voice was in hysterics as he apologized. His tears soaking Ed's shirt as he did this. "I'm so sorry brother."

Edward wrapped his arm around Al tightly and let him cry on his shoulder. Winry watched the sad scene before her, but couldn't help the smile that was now on her face as the two brothers were reunited once again.


	5. Here Is Gone

**Sixth Avenue Heartache **

**Chapter five: Here Is Gone

* * *

**

Hughes walked into the kitchen to find Gracia, who was sitting at the breakfast table, watching him as he walked in. He walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek and sat down next to her. Letting out a sigh, Hughes laid his head on the table and closed his eyes. He felt worn out from worry and wanted nothing more than for the day to be over. Before his thoughts could continue, Hughes felt a hand brush though his hair.

Turning his head in the direction towards his wife, Hughes smiled and relaxed once more. At this Gracia chuckled, "Everything will be fine, you don't have to get so worked up."

"I know, but I can't help but be a little worried. Aren't you?" Hughes questioned. Gracia looked thoughtful for a few moments with a small frown on her face.

"Yes, I am worried," she said seriously, "What ever caused Ed that much pain isn't going to go away just because he's back home," Gracia explained. "But with Al and Winry by his side, I think that they'll find a way to work things out."

"It sounds like you have a lot of confidence in them," her husband observed as he brought his head up and sat properly in his chair. She smiled in response.

"Can you blame me? Ed's been known to do the impossible, despite how hard 'impossible' may be," she said. A smile spread on Hughes face at her reasoning and leaned back in his chair.

"You have a point," he said as he tried to balance himself on the back legs of his chair. "Do you think one of us should go up there and check on them?" Hughes asked.

Gracia shook her head. "I think we should leave them alone for now. They'll come down when their ready." She started to get up, but then turned towards Hughes and informed him, "If you keep leaning back in that chair, it'll be your own fault when you fall." Hughes grinned, but didn't take her warning.

* * *

Edward, Alphonse, and Winry sat in silence for what seemed like forever, until Winry mentioned repairs for Ed's auto-mail.

"Come on Ed, prop your leg up and let me see the damage done to your leg," she sighed and she picked up Ed's leg. Lifting up his long pants, that were covering her work of art, Winry starred down at an unfamiliar model of auto-mail. Unlike hers, which was made with the best metal, this one was poorly crafted and looked like it was about to break at any moment.

"Sorry," Ed said as Winry looked up at him in confusion. "I lost your auto-mail and had to make my own," he explained quietly.

Before he disappeared, Edward could go in for a maintenance check or get a replacement without any problems. But in Germany, auto-mail didn't even _exist,_ so there were no auto-mail mechanics. This left Edward in a difficult position. He couldn't go on without some type of prosthetic, but the world he was in had no such thing even close to auto-mail. So using what little knowledge he had of auto-mail, Edward managed to create a more primitive version of it.

Winry let a smile appear on her face as she looked up at Ed. He looked so different, yet exactly the same. "I'm impressed that you managed to make this on your own," she commented in a quiet voice, trying to lighten the mood. Ed didn't respond to her comment and remained quiet as he focused his attention on his little brother. Alphonse, who was sitting at the end of the bed, starred the floor with a sad look.

"It's okay Al," Ed interrupted his thoughts.

"What?" Al said startled, he didn't even notice Ed watching him.

"I'm fine, you don't have to look so sad," he tried to dismiss. Unfortunately, neither Al nor Winry believed him. In the past, when ever Ed was hurt, he was always able to brush off the pain and tell everyone that he was alright. This time, the pain was too much to brush off and dismiss.

"No, you're not okay brother," Al responded in a quiet voice. Ed looked shocked for a moment at Al's statement, but could say nothing to deny it. Turning his gaze to the bed sheets, Edward remained silent. Alphonse continued to stare at him and Winry, who suddenly felt that she should leave to let the brothers have a moment alone, tried to break the awkward silence.

"Let's not worry about that at the moment. Right now we're together after a long separation, so let's talk about something more positive like…"

_BANG!_

"OW!" someone from downstairs obviously hurt themselves.

"Maes, I warned you. It's your own fault!" the three could hear Gracia scolding her husband for god knows what reason. Winry, seeing an opening to leave, let out a giggle and looked at Ed and Al.

"I'm going to go downstairs and say 'hello', okay?" she said and left before either of them could say anything else to her. Alphonse and Ed watched as she went out and closed the door behind her. Turning their attention towards each other, silence fell once more. Neither one knew what to say to the other. What could they say?

"Brother," Al started, "where were you? Could you at least tell me that?" He sounded as if he was curious, but didn't want to force Ed to tell him. Edward looked at him and then let out a sigh.

"Beyond the Gate."

"The _Gate_?" he said confused, "but how…? Is that why… you're like… this?" Al chose his words carefully. Edward remained quiet for a few moments and shook his head. _It's more complicated than just the Gate little brother, much more complicated,_ he thought.

"No, the Gate doesn't do this to people," Ed indicated to his current physical state with disgust, "_People_ do this to other people."

"What do you mean?" he asked quietly. Edward didn't respond; he either didn't hear the question or chose to ignore it, Alphonse couldn't tell which.

"There's a whole different world beyond that Gate Al and god forbid if anyone find out," Alphonse sat there, stunned. He wanted to ask so many questions, but by looking at Ed, he could tell that he would have to save it for a later time and drop the subject for now.

"So…" Al dragged out; he didn't know what else to say. Ed gave him a small smile for his attempt at conversation. Seeing that Al was having a difficult time to find a topic of conversation, especially one that didn't involve endless questions directed towards him, Edward decided to step in.

"Could you do me a favor?" Ed asked. Alphonse looked surprised at first, but agreed to it none the less.

"Do you need something? Food or maybe something to read?" he asked eagerly.

Edward shook his head and responded, "No, not food or books; I was wondering if you could go somewhere and pick something up for me that I left behind." Alphonse looked at him curiously and nodded his head for him to explain.

"When I came back from the Gate, I ended up in an alley. Since I wasn't in the best condition," Al rolled his eyes at the understatement and Ed ignored this and continued, "I had a hard time carrying my luggage, so I left it there. Could you go and get it for me?"

"Sure," Al said without a second thought. "Where did you leave it exactly?" Edward began to explain where he left his bag while Al paid close attention to every detail his brother said.

"It's not hard to miss," Ed finished. Al nodded and started to get up to complete the task his brother had asked him to do.

"I guess I'll get going then. It shouldn't take long, so I'll be back soon," Al reassured. Edward gave his brother a smile as he watched his little brother walk out the room.

* * *

"So he hasn't told anyone what happened to him?" Winry asked in a disappointed tone. She had hoped that Edward had, but of course, he kept his mouth shut since he got there.

"He hasn't talked much," Gracia explained as she finished putting a bandage on Hughes' head. "Then again, once he heard that you and Al were coming, he became more talkative. Even with the lack of energy, he seemed excited that you two were coming." Winry couldn't help but smile at this.

"It's good to have him back," she admitted. The sudden sound of footsteps caught the room's attention. A moment later, Alphonse walked into the kitchen.

"Sorry I didn't come in earlier to say 'hello' Mrs. Hughes," he apologized. Gracia waved off his apology in understanding as he turned his attention to Mr. Hughes. "What happened to you?" Al noticed the bandage on his head as he grinned like a maniac.

"I leaned too far back in my chair and fell," he explained as Al let out a laugh. Gracia and Winry rolled their eyes at Hughes' bluntness.

"Is Edward hungry or something?" Winry asked when she noticed that it was odd that Al left Ed's side. She thought he would be stuck to his big brother like glue.

"No, brother left his suitcase behind and asked me to go get it," Al explained.

"His suitcase?" Winry asked.

Alphonse just shrugged and added, "He said he wasn't able to carry it when he came back so he had to leave it. Well I'm going; do you need me to get anything while I'm out Mrs. Hughes?"

"Um, if you could pick up some milk on the way back that would be great," Gracia said as he headed for the door. Al nodded in response and left. "He's such a sweet boy," she complimented as Winry nodded in agreement.

"I guess he's so happy to have Ed back that he's doing anything he can for him," Hughes observed as the two women nodded in agreement. Seeing that Alphonse would be gone for awhile, Winry decided that now would be the best time to talk to Edward alone.

"I think I'm going to go check on Ed," Winry told them. Making her way up to his room, she wondered what she would say to him. Her mind was blank; what did they usually talk about? Winry wasn't given much more time to think once she opened the door to Ed's room. Looking at him again almost made her cry; he looked terrible. Seeing Winry enter the room, Ed gave her a bright smile.

"Hey," he said simply.

"Hey, yourself," Winry responded smiling. _So, seen any good movies lately? No, that's lame! I know there's something I can say to start up a conversation, _Winry thought with determination.

"So what happened downstairs?" he asked after a brief silence. Winry was thankful that he said something; she still had no clue.

"Oh, that. Mr. Hughes was leaning too far back in his chair and fell," she replied with a slight giggle as she started to walk towards him. Ed's smile widened at the thought of Hughes' antics.

"I can easily see him doing something like that," he joked. Winry took a seat next to him and looked at him with a questioning gaze. Returning the look, Edward was about to ask her what the matter was when she suddenly threw her arms around his neck.

"I'm so glad you're back Edward," Winry said to him, "You have no idea how much all of us missed you." Thankfully no tears were streaming down her face this time and Ed didn't feel as awkward. Wrapping his arm around Winry, he hugged her back.

"Trust me, I know what its like," he said quietly. With the awkward feeling coming back, Winry let go and returned to her original seat, which was a safe distance from where Ed was. She could already feel her face turning red.

"I heard that you're trying to start your own auto-mail shop," Ed told her. Winry couldn't help but beam with pride.

"That's right! It's one of the reasons I came down to Central for. I was hoping to find a place to rent out around here," she explained.

"You don't want to stay in Resembool?" he asked Winry curiously. She shook her head in response and smiled.

"They have Granny there, so I wanted to come here, where I can hopefully practice and get some more medical training at the Central hospital," Winry explained. "Besides, it's not like I can never go back," she added cheerfully.

"That's true," Edward said simply as he looked down at his sheets.

"And later on I can install a new arm and leg for you. I already have it made so whenever you're ready," she said happily. "Not only that, but I want to stay to help you recover," she said seriously. Ed brought his gaze back up upon hearing this. He didn't know what to say.

"Winry…"

"You don't have to tell me what happened, Ed. That is, not if you don't want to tell me," she interrupted him. "I just want to be by your side for now," she said so quietly that Ed almost didn't hear her. Now he was at a loss of words. He wanted to tell her everything. How he was force to live in a constant nightmare; how he watched all of his friends die for some _stupid_ reason that he still didn't understand; and how he felt so terrified for the first time in his life that he might never return home to see his loved ones.

He wanted to tell her everything, from the time he left until he came back. But, Edward realized, it was only a passing thought. Not only were his physical wounds still fresh, but so were the mental ones and it would take longer than he'd like for those to heal.

* * *

**Author's Note: Alright! Done with Chapter 5! Sorry it took so long everyone. I had a terrible case of writers block. Hopefully I'll be faster with the other chapters. Thanks to everyone for the great reviews! Don't hesitate to post more!**


	6. Into the Gates of Hell

**Sixth Avenue Heartache **

**Chapter six: Into the Gates of Hell

* * *

**

Once again, here he was. The same darkness surrounded Edward just as the same, foul air filled his lungs. He had become all too familiar with this place. This was where his past haunted him; constant images and voices echo in his mind over and over. There was no escape.

"_Edward, what are we going to do?" _

"I don't know," Ed whispered into the darkness.

_"Why are they doing this?" _The voice sounded so desperate for an answer, but there was nothing that could be said to explain the actions that were done.

"I don't know," he cried once more.

With a sudden jerk, Ed's surroundings were no longer an endless void of darkness. It had become hell itself as far as he was concerned. Countless people, or prisoners from the looks of it, were being worked to death by guards who stood over them and watched mercilessly. Edward continued to walk around and took notice to the bodies hanging over the barbed wire fence. Clearly, it was a sign to anyone who thought of escaping.

Taking in this well-known setting, Edward walked forward and observed what was being done. It was obvious that the work the prisoners were forced to do gave no profit to anyone, but they were forced to do it none the less.

"_Muselmänner_," Ed heard from his left. The guard who had said it was speaking to another guard as they stood over a prisoner who was lying on the ground. That term was no stranger to this place. It echoed though out the camp daily; announcing another person who was on the verge of dying. Trying to get away from the sight, Edward started to walk in another direction, but found that he couldn't move his body.

"_Enjoying the view Ed?_" someone said from behind him. Still unable to move, Ed heard the footsteps of the person walking behind him. "_How've you been traitor? Good I hope_," the voice said harshly. The footsteps continued to pace back and forth.

"What do you want?" Ed questioned. The voice sounded so familiar, but he couldn't place the person's face.

"_What do I want? What the hell do you think Edward?_" he practically yelled in anger. "_I want my life back! My family: my wife and my children!"_ Edward's eyes widened, in both surprise and realization.

"Matthias," Ed stated quietly. The footsteps from behind him stopped walking for a moment and then started to step forward. The man was taller than Ed and had dark hair and eyes. As he came face to face with Ed, the man began to glare at him.

"_What makes you think that you can go back home and be happy!_" Matthias yelled as he grabbed the front of Ed's shirt. "_Look around you Ed,_" he said as he waved one of his arms around to indicate their current surroundings, "_What makes you think that you deserve to live more than any one of these poor souls?_" Matthias continued to glare. "_Why did you leave us behind_?" he said finally and let go of Ed's shirt.

"I didn't mean to leave," Ed tired to explain, "I don't even know how I got back." He felt like dying right there as a sick feeling washed over him.

"_Liar_," Matthias spat out. "_You're nothing but a traitor! We took you into our home when you had nowhere else to go! We accepted you like family and what did you do? You left us behind to die!" _he screamed. Edward said nothing in response and hung his head. He knew that his friend was right. All around him were people dying and he should've been one of those people. _Why did I survive? _Ed thought bitterly.

"_Good question_," he responded. "_You should've died. Not only because you didn't support what was going on, but because of what you are, a Lebensuwertes Lebens." _Edward froze at the phrase. Throughout the years, Ed had learned to both hate and fear those words. How cruel they truly were. "A life unworthy of life" it meant and was directed towards people like him; cripples.

"Shut up," Edward said desperately. He wanted to leave this hell and return to where he felt safe.

"_Just because you leave now, doesn't mean that this won't happen again Edward,"_ Matthias taunted him. "_There's no escape from the mind." _In the distance, he could hear people screaming. His ears were filled with their screams and he felt so helpless. He couldn't do anything for them.

"_So what are you going do now, Mr. Hero of the People?" _Matthias echoed the words from his previous dream. _"You can't save us…," _He started. Ed stared at Matthias in horror as blood began to stream down his face. His body was no longer lean and healthy looking as it once was, but starved and dead like.

"_You can't save us because you're already too late."

* * *

_

Edward woke up in a cold sweat. Trying to calm down his heavy and rapid breathing, Ed managed to sit up in his bed. He noted the sound of the heavy rain beating against the window and tried to let the sound calm him. Looking around the room, he saw Alphonse sleeping peacefully on a cot next to him.

Ed sat there for a few moments before deciding to get up. Since he got here he had been stuck in bed, but it would be good for him to finally be able to move around. Throwing the sheets off of him, Edward quietly swung his legs to the side. Careful to balance himself on both feet, he took cautious steps towards the door. While he was walking, He realized just how much he had recovered in the few days that he was here, especially compared to when he first came back. The walk from the alley that he ended up in to the Hughes' home nearly killed him.

Ed opened the door as quietly as he could and walked out. The hallway was just as dark as it was in his room and lucky for him no one was awake by the looks of things.

"_Uncle Ed, what are you doing up so late_?" a childish voice said from behind.

Edward wiped his head around to look behind him and found no one. He could have sworn he heard a little girl's voice. _No, I'm just tired. Besides everyone is asleep, _He thought to himself. Turning back around he continued downstairs. Not knowing what to do now that he was at the ground floor, he walked around the house a bit and noted the new additions to the house, like the grand piano that now sat in the livingroom.

Ed's legs started to ache the more he walked, but he still felt wide awake so going back upstairs wouldn't help. To relieve his legs of the stabbing pain that had developed, Edward walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table with his head facing down.

"_Uncle Eddie, why do you look so sad?_" the child's voice suddenly asked another question.

Ed's head snapped up and instead of seeing nothing, like he had expected, there was a little girl sitting across the table from him. She looked to be about eight or nine with an innocent face that was framed by long, dark hair.

"I thought I told you not to call me Eddie," he responded in a light tone. Over and over Ed had told the little girl to call him 'Ed' or 'Edward' and not 'Eddie', he hated that name. But during his stay with Matthias and his family, Edward had grown to except the name by their youngest daughter, Lena, who insisted to call him so.

Lena giggled in response. _"You_ _didn't answer my question."_

Edward sighed and said, "I'm sad for a lot of reasons." He once again stared down at the table as Lena looked thoughtful for a few moments before a big grin developed on her cute face.

"_But you have everyone you care about here,"_ she explained, _"and everybody else is gone, so there's nothing to be sad about Uncle,"_ Ed was taken back by this response and looked up at her. Lena's cute smile was replaced by a deep frown.

"Lena…" his words were caught in his mouth.

"_You got what you wanted didn't you?" _she asked. "_You're home with your brother and friends. The rest of us are gone."_

"That's not true," he said in a low tone.

"_Then why did you leave?"_ Lena said quietly as tears began to stream down her face. Edward watched her and suddenly noticed that the tears weren't clear like they should be, they were a dark red color. _"Why did you leave us behind, Uncle Eddie?"_

"God… no… Lena," Ed couldn't think, his mind went blank the moment he realized that it was blood and not tears falling down her face. His body began to shake and his eyes welled up with tears.

"_You couldn't save us,"_ she said calmly. Edward's tears began to pour down his face uncontrollably as he stared at Lena, one of the many children whose life ended all too soon. Ed began to cry hysterically as he stared at her.

"I'm sorry…" he cried helplessly.

"_You can't save us because you're too late,"_ Lena repeated the words from her father in Ed's dream. Edward blinked and suddenly she was gone as if she was never there. Edward continued to cry his heart out even when someone suddenly turned on the kitchen light.

"Ed? Edward, what's wrong?" Winry said as she rushed to his side. Edward looked at her with a lost look as she grew closer. Winry kneeled down in front of him with worry written all over her face. Without a second thought, Edward launched out of his chair and wrapped his arm around her. He buried his face into the crook of her neck and continued to sob.

"I couldn't save them," his voice muffled by being covered.

"Save who?" Winry tied to comfort as she rubbed his back in a soothing manner.

"Them," he choked out and continued to hold onto Winry. "I couldn't save them." From the door way Alphonse, Gracia, and Hughes stood there and watched the scene before them. None of them had ever seen Ed so broken.

* * *

The next morning at Central headquarters was the same as always, except for Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, who was quiet for once as he walked towards his destination. After last night's events he couldn't go back to sleep, but then again neither could anyone else. Alphonse and Winry stayed by Edward's side wide awake even when he finally drifted off. Hughes walked down the hallway and headed for Roy's office to discuss things. Reaching the entrance to Roy's office, Hughes walked in quietly and with a serious face.

"Why the hell are you so quiet?" Roy asked nonchalantly from his desk. The rest of his staff seemed to preoccupy themselves with other things, but it was obvious that they were listening in.

"It's Edward," Hughes responded as he pulled a chair up to his friend's desk. Roy's attention, and the rest of the room, was now focused on Hughes.

"What about him? Is he alright?" Hawkeye asked from where she was sitting.

"Physically, he's fine," Hughes started slowly as the grouped let out a sigh of relief.

"Well that's great! He looked awful the last time we saw him," Fuery exclaimed as the Falman, Havoc, and Breda nodded their heads in agreement while Hawkeye and Roy stayed silent.

"So, what's the problem then?" Roy urged his friend to continue.

"The problem is that mentally, he's a wreck," Hughes said bluntly. The staff became quiet.

"What do you mean?" Hawkeye asked.

"I mean that even though he's recovering physically, which is great don't get me wrong, but mentally… it's a whole different story," Hughes tried to explain.

Roy became irritated with how vague Hughes was being and said, "Meaning what? Is he too afraid to come out of that room and hiding in a corner or something?"

"No, idiot! _Meaning_ that in the middle of the night I woke up hearing Ed talking to someone, who wasn't there, keep in mind, downstairs and found Ed crying hystarically in my kitchen," he snapped back. _Honestly, Roy can be such an ass_, he thought to himself.

"What…?" Roy said in disbelief.

"He's had a mental breakdown," Falman stated in a low voice.

"How is he now?" Hawkeye insisted. It was clear that they were all having a hard time to digest the issue at hand. To have something that would make Edward Elric cry like a baby would indeed have to be something terrible.

"He's calmed down. When I left he was still asleep and the whole house was watching him carefully," Hughes slumped in his chair slightly. "I don't know what's wrong though, he won't talk to anyone about it and all he told Al was that he was beyond the Gate. Other than that your guess is as good as mine." he explained.

Roy nodded his head in understanding. Alphonse had explained to him some time ago about this Gate and based on that information, it wasn't a good place. When he tried to look it up in the library, the information went strait over his head. None of it made any sense to him.

"Maybe it's just a one-time kind of thing," Havoc suggested, but Falman shook his head.

"If it's something from a severe traumatic experience, then it'll most likely come up again. He may be fine at other times, but who knows when he would break down again," Falman clarified to the group.

"So what are we going to do?" Breda asked. "The Colonel still hasn't worked out the details to cover up Ed's disappearance without anyone asking too many questions, so we can't take him to a doctor or anything."

"Breda's right about the cover-up story, but I don't think a doctor would be of any use," Hawkeye voiced her concern. The rest of the room silently agreed with her.

"I guess all we can do is to try to help him the best we can," Roy recommended, "and not let him fall into any depressions or things like that."

"That's a good idea and it seems like it's our only option," Hughes concluded as he got up to leave the room. Before he opened to exit, Hughes turned around once more and added, "You all are coming to the birthday party tomorrow, right?"

The officers were caught off guard by the sudden change in subject, but said yes anyway.

"Oh good! Make sure you buy the birthday kids a present! See you later!" and with that Hughes shut the door behind him and began his walk back to his own office.

* * *

**Author's Note: okay! Chapter six is complete! I hope you enjoyed this one! And for those of you who got lost in the first part of the story (during Ed's dream with Matthias) by the strange words that you couldn't pronounce (there German words by the way) here is what they mean:**

**Muselmänner- a camp term used to describe camp prisoners that were about to die.**

**Lebensuwertes Lebens- "a life unworthy of life" it was based off of a book published in the 1920s and referred to the mentally and physically handicapped and regarded the killing of this group of people in society as a "healing treatment." The term and book became a base for the right of the state to kill unwanted groups of the population.**

**So yeah, researching this stuff depressed me. Well I'll hopefully have chap. seven out soon, but while you wait submit a review!**


	7. Somewhere in Between

**Sixth Avenue Heartache **

**Chapter seven: Somewhere in Between

* * *

**

Edward woke up some time later to find Winry and Alphonse sitting next to his bed side watching him. At first he felt lost and wondered why they were watching him so closely, but then the previous night's events flowed into his mind. He felt so embarrassed; the whole house probably saw what happened. Ed tied to get up, but Al jumped at his sudden movement and forced him back down.

"Don't even think about getting up brother," Al told him firmly. Not really having the will to put up a fight, Ed obeyed and did what he was told.

"What the hell happened last night, Edward?" Winry suddenly questioned. She didn't seem angry, just sad. He hated it when ever she was sad and it was worse since he was the cause of her sadness. "Answer me! How can we help you if you don't tell us what's wrong?" she began to shout.

"Winry…" Al tried to calm her down.

"No! Alphonse, he has to tell us at least something. This can't go on anymore," she reasoned.

"I know, but it won't do any good to push him," Al retorted.

"You saw him last night! He needs help," Winry argued back. Al could see that she was right, but he still hesitated to press his brother for answers. Although part of him was desperate to know, the other side was afraid of what he'll find out and last night's events only increased his fear.

"Winry don't worry about it, it was nothing," Ed tried to dismiss the matter entirely. This made Winry furious, _how can he say that?_ She thought in anger.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" she snapped. Enough was enough; Winry couldn't let this go on any more. It was obvious that what ever Ed was keeping to himself was eating him alive. "Edward…" she sounded desperate for his answer.

"Drop it," Ed said sharply. Winry reluctantly shut her mouth and let him speak. "Now you listen to me, both of you," his tone was still harsh, "this is my problem, not yours. I'll deal with it. So, just stay out of it." Alphonse and Winry stared in shock at him.

"Brother! Do you even know what you're saying? We can't just 'drop it' you moron! Not when we can obviously see that something's wrong with you," Alphonse shouted as his fists clenched tighter and tighter with every word that left his mouth. "We're only trying to help you!"

"I'm afraid it's too late for that," Ed spat out cynically.

Al and Winry looked puzzled by his statement. "What do you mean?" Al asked quietly. He didn't answer; he just sat there in silence, refusing to say anything else. "What did you mean Brother?" Al raised his voice so that his question was heard clearly.

Edward exhaled heavily and fell back down on his bed. He dreaded telling them what had happened to him and what was worse, he feared their reaction. It was bad enough that his terrible memories plagued his sleep and every waking moment, but to have them know about it would only cause them to look at him differently. But Alphonse was right, he did need help and the last thing he wanted to do was push them away. Minuets passes as Edward was thinking and by the time he made his decision, Al and Winry were about to give up and walk out the door.

"Beyond the Gate," Ed started slowly, "I was in a country called Germany." His friends paused as he spoke quietly. "While I was there, I stayed with a guy named Matthias and his family. They were so kind to me; they took me in when I had nowhere else to stay and treated me as if I belonged there with them." Ed turned his head briefly to face his brother and friend. They stared at him intently, listening to every word he said as they silently encouraged him to continue.

"In the five years that I was gone, I had stayed with them for almost four years. But things happened and I had no other choice but to leave," Edward tried to explain with as little detail as possible. The other two occupants in the room became confused at his words.

"What forced you to leave?" Winry asked warily.

"The country had just gotten out of a war and were vulnerable, so when _he_ came to power, most of the people foolishly followed his lead," Ed began to rant as he stared off at nothing in particular. "I never thought that things would've gotten that out of hand; I had no idea." Edward's expression was mixed with sorrow and bitterness. "They started the genocide. Everyone started to turn on each other; reporting people to authorities because of what they were," he clarified.

"And what were they? Those people that were being reported?" Winry whispered, afraid of the answer.

"Anyone who wasn't seen 'fit' to breathe the same air as the rest: Jews, who were the main targets, gypsies, Russians, Poles, homosexuals, common criminals, and the disabled, both mentally and physically," Edward paused after he said the last one, but didn't bother to look at Winry or Al. He didn't want to see their faces; whether it's shock or disgust on them, he still couldn't bear to look as he finished telling them what they wanted, no _needed_, to hear.

"Once we got word of how bad things were getting, Matthias and I agreed that it would be for the best to go our separate ways," Ed said with regret.

Winry, who mistook his tone, grew angry at this part, "so they let you go to fend for yourself? They didn't help you?" Edward looked shocked at her words, but let out a sigh.

"That's not it," he started, "You see, Matthias and his family were Jewish. They were targets as much as I was, if not more, and it was hard to hide from the officials when you had such a large group of people."

"What happened if they caught you?" Alphonse asked. Edward hesitated for a few moments, trying to find words to put the explanation delicately, but found none.

"They put you in the ghettos for awhile," Ed told them, "and if you didn't die in there then they sent you to a concentration camp, or as the prisoners referred to it, the death camps." His tone was sharp and stabbed his listeners. Silence loomed over them as Edward's word sunk in. Winry stood there shaking and Alphonse remained motionless.

"I had saved up some money and bought four tickets to a ship that would take you across the sea to another country," Edward continued his story. "It was all I could do for Matthias and his family to repay their kindness. I knew that, alone, I would be able to survive somehow, but they wouldn't. His wife was seven months pregnant and wouldn't have survived in the ghettos for long and their daughter, Lena, would probably end up like the rest of the kids her age, dead on either the ghetto streets or in a hole located on one of the concentration camps."

"You gave them the tickets so they could escape?" Winry said softly in both admiration and shock. Edward's face once again became bitter and his tone harsh.

"I wish that I hadn't," he said furiously as he balled his fists up. "If I hadn't done that then they wouldn't have gotten caught. Those damn Nazis stopped the ship before it sailed more than ten miles away and raided the whole place, looking for everyone who should've been sent to the ghettos," Ed looked down in sadness. "They didn't bother with sending their new prisoners to the ghettos; apparently they weren't dying fast enough so everyone was sent straight to the camps. As far as I was concerned, I sent them to their deaths. That's all anyone knew; people began to panic because their means of escape were being blocked. I didn't mean for that to happen, honestly I didn't know that they would stop the ship," His tone was desperate at this point and his eyes pleading for some type of forgiveness.

Winry was about to sit next to Ed and comfort him, but thought better of it. He needed to get this off his chest right now and she could comfort him later.

"I managed to stay hidden for some time, but it was no use. Everyone was watching you. There was no place to hide. The officials took me and threw me in a truck with a few other people they had caught that night. I'm not sure how long we were in there, but by morning I was placed on a train and taken to Auschwitz, where I was registered and branded," Ed unconsciously rubbed his tattooed forearm as memories flooded back to him as if it were yesterday. The smell and taste of death that flowed throughout the air was so overwhelming and the look on many of the people's faces, the look of a prisoner sentenced to death.

"Auschwitz?" Al asked in confusion. He had no idea about the place, how the mere mention of the name made so many people in the ghettos cower in fear.

"It was the worst of the worst out of the entire camps total," Edward explained in a dull tone, "Experiments were done daily on the prisoners by the so called doctors and the four gas chambers worked daily by the time of my arrival. Hundreds of people were killed in those damn things. Once the gas was turned on, there was no way to survive," his tone became sad as he went on, "the dead bodies were either burned or we, the remaining prisoners, were forced to burry them in mass holes that we had dug up earlier."

Edward paused for a few moments, and said nothing. Winry and Al looked at him with misery. "How sad," Winry managed to say as her eyes welled up with tears.

"It's more than just sad," Al added, his own tears threatening to fall.

Edward's silence was broken by is sobs, "We had little food there, so by three months, everyone looked like skeletons, some even died of starvation. None of them deserved that. It didn't make sense to any of us. As time went on in there I had tried to not lose hope, I didn't want to die there in that miserable place," His shoulders began to shake uncontrollably as his tears flowed down his face as they had last night. "Then one day, while I buried more bodies, I found Lena in one of the piles."

"You mean Matthias' daughter?" Al asked unbelievably.

Ed nodded his head in response, "I thought she had died awhile ago. They usually shot the children as soon as they came in, but there she was." He closed his eyes tightly as he tried to block out the unwanted memory, but continued with saying, "one of the guards, who was near by me, started to laugh once he realized that I knew her and told me that they had done some experiments on her. Apparently, the good doctor wanted to see if it was possible to change a person's eye color by injecting some chemical in her eyes." Winry gasped at this. This place was horrifying to her and it kept getting worse.

Burying his head in his hands, Edward continued to cry. Realizing that it would be best for him to stop there, Al and Winry sat by him and tried to comfort him. They sat there listening to Ed cry out his grief. "She shouldn't have died, she was just a kid," he chocked out, but both Alphonse and Winry couldn't find words that would ease his pain.

After a few hours, Edward had managed to fall asleep while Winry and Alphonse stayed by his side. Sadness washed over them as they sat still in the now quiet room. While they were living their quiet lives, Ed was thrown into hell.

* * *

Edward woke up some time in the night by a knock on his door. Mumbling in acknowledgement for the person to come in, he slowly sat up in bed as Winry walked in carrying some tools and his auto-mail. Noticing the shocked look on his face, Winry giggled and sat next to him to explain.

"You're finally awake," she declared. "I thought that you might want to move around on your own at some point, so I decided that today would be as good of a time as any to install your auto-mail," she explained.

"Yeah, alright," Ed responded. He wasn't expecting her to act so normal around him, especially after that morning.

"I made this one really light so it won't put too much strain on your body," she ranted as she got the needed tools out of the box. "Once you're more recovered I'll upgrade it so that the metal will be stronger, but for now this will at least enable you to move around more smoothly and use your right arm," Winry finished her explanation. Edward suddenly felt a swell of gratitude towards her.

"You must have worked really hard to make it," he started.

"What? Oh no! It wasn't that hard," she tried to mask the effort that was put into the arm and leg, but Edward easily saw through it.

"Thanks Winry."

"Don't worry about it, and besides you'll need it for tomorrow," she hinted towards him. Ed looked confused at this and waited for Winry to be more elaborate. She giggled again and said, "Tomorrow's your birthday stupid. Don't tell me you already forgot."

"It is?" he questioned. "Oh, so then it's Elysia's birthday too. I'm guessing that there'll be a massive party," he tried to start a light conversation.

"Nope, Mrs. Hughes thought that a small party would be better this year," Winry informed him with a wide grin on her face. "Mr. Hughes was about to die of a heart attack when she mentioned it to him," Ed couldn't help but smile at that, but then started to worry about the people that were coming. His reappearance in Central wasn't supposed to be public just yet. Winry seemed to notice his sudden change in moods and cleared up his worries.

"It'll only be Mustang and his subordinates that are coming, besides us, so don't worry." Ed was relieved at that.

"So, are we going to get my auto-mail attached now or later?" he asked. Truthfully, he couldn't wait to install them. It had been so long since he had an arm or leg that worked as well as auto-mail.

"Now, if that's alright with you," she told him. Nodding his head in approval, Winry got to work to install his auto-mail.

* * *

The next morning Ed was once again woken up by a knock on his door. He had trouble sleeping the previous night, so it wasn't much effort to get out of bed and answer the door. Getting up, Edward walked towards the door and opened it with his newly installed arm. Alphonse greeted him on the other side with a bright smile on his face.

"Happy Birthday Brother!" he called out cheerfully as he held out a large, brightly colored box in front of him. Edward smiled at him and took the box from his hands.

"Do you want me to open it now or wait for later?" he asked.

"Open it now, I'd get embarrassed if you opened it in front of the others," Al flushed as he said this. They both walked towards Ed's bed and sat down. As Ed untied the ribbon on top and ripped of the bright paper, Alphonse sat next to him, anxiously waiting for him to open it. After taking the top off the box and removing the unwanted tissue paper, Ed's breath caught in his throat.

Watching Ed's expression, Al explained, "The military had found it when they were clearing out the remains of Lior and found it. Mustang gave it to me and I fixed it up," his blush deepened as Ed continued to stare at the silver pocket watch. Gently picking up the item, Edward examined it from every angle until he finally opened it to see _"Don't Forget 3. Oct. 10." _

"I thought I lost it," Ed said quietly. "Thank you."

"It's was nothing, really," Al scratched his head in embarrassment. "There's one more thing brother, at the bottom," he remembered and told him excitedly. Edward looked surprised at this at searched the box once more. Finally finding the object, Edward pulled out a square book. Opening it up, he saw that it was a photo album filled with photos that he didn't recognize.

"All of them were taken while you were gone," Al explained, "Since you weren't there with us, I took a lot of pictures for you so when you came back you could see everything that went on. This way, you wouldn't be left out of our memories…," he trailed off. Edward looked at Al, who was redder than a tomato, and pulled him into a brotherly hug.

"Thanks Al."

"Your welcome," Al replied and added, "You should come down stairs soon. The party can't start without you." Getting up, Alphonse left the room quietly as Edward continued to look through the photo album.

* * *

_DING DONG…_

"I got it!" Elysia cried out as she rushed to the door to welcome the people in. Opening the door she saw Mustang, Hawkeye, Havoc, Furey, Breda, Falman, and the ever cheerful Armstrong.

"Ms. Elysia I wish you a very _Happy Birthday_!" Armstrong cried out as he picked her up and spun her around. Elysia let out a squeal of delight as he spun her around. Mustang and everyone else said their hellos and happy birthdays to the little girl as they walked in the house.

"Hi everyone, dinner is almost ready," Gracia came out to inform everyone with Hughes following behind her. Mustang walked over to him to ask him about Edward, but before he could say anything, Hughes answered his question. "He's better today. Winry had attached his auto-mail yesterday, so he's been walking around," he said quietly as to not attract anyone else's attention.

"Did he say anything? Like where he was and what happened to him?" Mustang asked hopefully.

"Actually he did, not to me, but to Al and Winry. They told me yesterday," Hughes replied grimly. "We'll talk about it later, okay?"

"Alright," he confirmed as everyone shuffled into the living room. Walking into the room, they saw Edward, who was laughing slightly, sitting on the couch as Al and Winry continued to tell him a funny story.

"Edward Elric it is _truly_ great to see you once more!" Armstrong announced as he walked up to him. Ed got up from where he was sitting and went over to greet everyone.

"It's good to see you too Major and the rest of you as well," he said calmly. It felt weird to be talking to everyone again. He hadn't seen any of them in so long.

"How are you feeling Edward?" Hawkeye's tone was both gentle and concerned.

Ed looked at her and gave a hesitant smile, "Much better," he lied. He was sure that they already knew about his breakdown from the other night, but Ed didn't want to make it obvious. He knew that he already looked bad enough, what with his skeleton like body, but he didn't want them to know that he felt much worse. His clothes hung loosely on him and his eyes had dark circles under them from his lack of sleep.

"Big Brother looks better already, doesn't he, Uncle Roy?" Elysia asked cheerfully from besides Mustang.

"Yeah, he looks less like a zombie now, don't you think?" Mustang teased the little girl. No one knew if it was alright to laugh at the joke, seeing how Ed might not find it as funny. Their doubt was soon cleared up when Edward laughed quietly at the joke.

"Yeah, it might take a little longer to get back to my normal weight," Ed joked. "Even longer for my hair to grow back, come to think of it," he mumbled. Al, who was closest to him, heard the remark and laughed as everyone started to walk into the dining room for dinner.

Dinner went by uneventfully as everyone sat down and talked about their daily lives and thing like that. Edward sat quietly, listening to everyone else, as he tried to eat his large portion of food, which everyone had insisted that he eat. As good as it was, Edward's stomach couldn't hold as much food as it once did.

"Are you not hungry Ed?" Winry had unfortunately noticed his lack of an appetite. The question brought unwanted attention from the table towards Ed.

"No, I'm really full," he said shyly.

"But you barely touched your food," Havoc said. It was strange for them to not see Ed inhale his food.

"My looks aren't the only thing that had a drastic change," he responded in a low tone. Seeing the conversation going in an awkward place, Hughes decided that it was time for cake.

"Hooray! It's time for cake!" Elysia exclaimed as she got up to follow her dad to the kitchen to retrieve the cake. Moments later Hughes walked out with a massive cake with lit candles that read: _"Happy Birthday Edward and Elysia!" _as Gracia turned down the lights.

"_Happy Birthday to you_…," everyone started to sing.

Edward stared at the cake with a sad smile while everyone sang.

* * *

"_Happy Birthday to you,_

_Happy Birthday to you,_

_Happy Birthday dear Edward,_

_Happy Birthday to you!" the group finished._

"_Don't forget to make a wish Uncle Eddie!" Lena shouted with joy as Edward inhaled and thought of a wish. Once he had one, Ed blew out the candles on the first try._

"_Hooray!!" the table cheered. Edward looked around him and saw Matthias' wife holding a camera. In a blink of an eye, Matthias and Lena had leaned in towards Ed as the camera flash went off._

_"That'll be a good picture, don't you think Ed?" Matthias asked him with a big grin._

_"Yeah," he smiled back.

* * *

_

_"Happy Birthday to you!" _their singing had stopped.

"Make a wish you two!" Gracia called out as both Elysia and Edward inhaled and blew out the candles after making their wish.

* * *

**Author's Note: I'm done with this chapter!! Woohoo! So yeah, I sacrificed my math homework in order to get this chapter complete for all of you! I hope you enjoyed it! If I'm lucky, and school doesn't weigh me down with homework, I'll get the next one up soon! So submit a review!! I'd love to hear from all of you!!**


	8. Higher Than Hope

**Author's Note: okay…. First of all, I'm sorry! I hadn't realized that it had been this long since I've updated the story. School has been hell and today I've been sick all day long (let's just say that now my toilet and I share a very special bond … if you catch my drift). I also hope that everyone had a great holiday season like I did. So yeah, moving on… here's the long awaited chapter eight.**

**Sixth Avenue Heartache **

**Chapter eight: Higher than Hope

* * *

**

Central had never seen such a quiet morning. The usual loud chatter and gun firing from Roy Mustang's office was absent. To many people, this worried them since Hughes was in the room as well and the normal laughing wasn't. Not wanting to be nosy or get shot, the officers that passed by kept walking and didn't question the unusual atmosphere. Inside the office was an entirely different mood. Earlier that morning, Hughes had come in to inform Mustang and everyone else about Ed. He told them exactly what he had heard from Winry the night before.

"That's messed up," Breda muttered to himself as Falman nodded in agreement beside him.

"Poor Ed," Furey added sadly, "that must have been really hard on him. Do you think we should do something to cheer him up?" The group's faces lit up to the idea.

"I think that it would be best, for now, if we give him the space he needs to recover, and later do something special for him," Hawkeye suggested. The others nodded in understanding. "Maybe we should hold off on Edward's official return as well," she added a second thought.

"I agree," Mustang said seriously, "right now he needs to recover and he can't do that with the state up his ass asking questions."

"How's he doing now?" Hawkeye asked Hughes.

"Better than before," Hughes started, "He's slowly getting better, but with the new eating habits he's not getting enough nutrition. I mean, hell, you all saw him at dinner during the party, he barely touched his food and he still looks like a skeleton if you ask me."

"What about his mental state?" Hawkeye asked more specifically.

Mustang gave her an odd look and told her, "He's sick, not crazy Lieutenant."

"That's not what I meant sir, I mean how Edward is handling all of this emotionally," Hawkeye clarified for everyone.

"Ed hasn't been his usually self, to be honest," Hughes stated. "He doesn't want to go outside and move around or even be around too many people. Thankfully, Winry and Al stay close to him, so he doesn't have much of a choice. But he's still having nightmares." A worried look crossed Hughes' face as soon as he mentioned the last part.

"He hasn't had any other break downs, right?" Furey asked worriedly.

Hughes let out a laugh, "No, Edward hasn't had any other episodes like that, thank god. He just has some really bad nightmares and ends up losing the sleep that he needs." Not wanting to farther into the current conversation, Hughes quickly changed the subject.

"Ed needs to see a doctor," Hughes informed them. "All in all, he's a complete mess and we can't get any of the proper medicine for him without a doctor's prescription."

"And if we do send him to a doctor, he'll have to give the necessary documents of identification, once that's out someone's bound to tell reporters and before we know it, the military will come barging in and take Ed in for questioning," Havoc spoke a valid point.

"I think I can find a doctor," Mustang said. Everyone looked towards him in disbelief. "Don't worry, he won't ask any unwanted questions or tell anyone."

"And _who_ exactly is this doctor?" Hughes asked skeptically. It wasn't too often that a doctor was willing to help a patient without paper work.

"Just leave it to me," Mustang said with full confidence.

* * *

_"Keep digging!" a guard to Edward's left yelled. Following orders, Ed kept digging with his hands. He didn't know why, but for some reason he couldn't stop. His arms were so tired that they felt as if they were on fire by the constant movement. Blood dripped from his fingertips as they continued to scrap against the cold ground._

_"DIG!" another voice shouted at him. _

_"Keep going," Lena's voice encouraged him to carry on. Looking around, Edward couldn't see her anywhere; all he knew was he needed to continue, it was important that he did. _

_"Help me!" her voice cried out, "Please don't leave me here!" Edward began to panic, he became desperate to find something important right away. Finally, he hit something smooth and solid. Relief washed over him as he removed the remaining dirt._

_"Just hold on a little longer," he said as he pulled out a coffin. Confusion washed over him as he looked at the box. In his mind he had no clue what he was doing, but his body did. Edward started to pry the lid of the coffin open. His heart filled with dread as he opened it and saw who was inside. _

_"Lena," Ed whispered. Her face was no longer the warm color it once was, but an icy blue. Tears welled up in his eyes as he reached out to stroke her hair, like he had done so many times in the past. _

_"It's all your fault," Matthias appeared next to him. Before Ed could say anything to him, he disappeared. He looked down at Lena once more, and gazing at her innocent face made Edward realize how unfair everything was; she shouldn't have been the one to die. As he started to remove his hand, Lena's eyes shot open. Surprised by this, Edward jumped back as Lena turned her head towards him and stared at him. _

_"It's all your fault," she told him simply as blood began to pour down her cheeks.

* * *

_

Edward woke up in a cold sweat. Before he could register his surroundings a warm hand pressed against his forehead. Ed gave a frightened jump by the sudden contact.

"Relax, it's just me," Winry's soothing voice chimed. Edward immediately relaxed as he turned his head towards her. "Bad dream?" she questioned as her hand ran down the side of his face.

"Yeah," Ed breathed out. He couldn't remember the last time when he felt so comfortable. As Winry continued to gently trace an outline of his face, Edward became more aware of his current situation. There he was, laying in bed with no shirt on and Winry, who was unusually close to his face. Despite the fact that his body wasn't in the most attractive, or fit condition, it didn't stop the faint blush that appeared on his cheeks.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked in an innocent tone that only spoke of her pure intentions to help him and make him comfortable by any means.

"Not right now," he responded quietly, his blush, that thankfully went unnoticed, was beginning to disappear.

"I'm worried about you, you know? I mean, despite how much you're sleeping you still look exhausted," Winry confessed.

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm perfectly fine," Edward lied.

Winry raised an eyebrow at this tone, "Your face seems to be betraying your voice," she said as her finger trailed along one of his dark circles that loomed beneath his clear amber eyes. Edward let out a small laugh, but made no attempt the shove her hand away from his face. Instead, his eyes grew heavy once more and it became obvious that he would fall asleep again at any moment.

"Hey now, don't go back to sleep," she stopped started to poke his arm. "Come on, wake up. It's time to eat," he groaned in response, but started to get up.

"You know, you're unbelievable," Winry told him with a light laugh.

Edward gave her an odd look and asked, "And why is that?"

"You never needed anyone to come up and tell you to eat, or force you to for that matter," Winry explained to him. Edward looked thoughtful for a moment and nodded in agreement as he started to walk out the door. Before he got too far, Winry came from behind him and wrapped her arms around his thin waist.

His blush from earlier had immediately returned, but before he could make her let go and quickly run away, so that Winry wouldn't see his rosy cheeks, she asked quietly, "If something was bothering you, you know that you can talk to me, right?" The question surprised Ed, but he tried not to worry her anymore than he already had.

Not wanting to break the embrace, Edward turned around and wrapped his arms tightly around her neck. Giving her a sweet smile he told her, "I know," and quickly placed a kiss on the top of her head. As soon as that was done, Ed practically flung himself off of Winry and walked away as fast as his unhealthy body would allow. Winry watched his retreating figure as a smile spread across her face as well as an intense blush.

As she started to walk out as well, something caught her eye in the corner of the room. Turning towards it, she realized that it was Edward's suitcase; the same old, beaten up, brown one that he had gotten Al to go find the day they arrived at the Hughes' home and were reunited with Ed. Smiling even more, she walked over to pick it up and open it up so that she could unpack it for Edward.

* * *

Downstairs, Gracia, Elysia, and Alphonse were sitting down eating their lunch. Gracia had sent Winry upstairs to call Ed down for lunch and since then; they had been waiting on the two to come down. After awhile the three gave up and just started to eat. By the time the sound of Edward hobbling down the steps reached them, lunch was practically over. Alphonse, who was cleaning off his plate in the sink, turned to face his older brother. 

"What took you so long?" Al asked curiously. He didn't know why, but Ed's face looked extremely red. "Oh no, you're not having a fever again are you?" he presumed. Edward's face looked like a deer caught in a headlight. He didn't know if Al was serious or just trying to make Ed come out and tell him that he did something that was not only possibly stupid, which Ed himself was still debating about himself, but embarrassing. But, judging by his little brother's expression, Al was dead serious about his question.

"It's nothing, I'm fine Al," Ed brushed him off; the last thing he wanted to do was point out that he was blushing, let alone tell _why_ he was blushing. Unfortunately, Alphonse was more persistent than Edward thought and didn't let the matter drop.

Reaching out, Alphonse touched Edward's forehead to make sure that he wasn't coming down with anything. Trying to get out of his reach, Edward tried to maneuver his way around Al, but as soon as Al grabbed his arm to hold him still, he knew that he was stuck. Cursing his lack of energy and muscle to pry Al off, Ed stood there helpless as he secretly hoped that he did have a fever so that he wouldn't have to answer any more questions. Eventually, Alphonse let go of his arm and then looked at his brother in confusion. "Your forehead isn't even warm; you're not sick at all," he said in an accusing manner as Edward rolled his eyes and pushed Al's arm away from him.

"I told you I wasn't," he muttered as he staggered to the kitchen table. Gracia, who had been watching the scene the whole time, tried to stifle her laughter as Edward, whose blush was starting to go away, sat across the table from her. He stared down at the food that was already in front of him and for the first time noticed how hungry he really was.

"I hope you like it, I made this special just for you," Gracia said warmly.

Edward returned the smile, "I'm sure I will, your cooking always tastes good." Gracia's smile grew wider at the compliment.

"Make sure you try to eat it all big brother, or else you won't get better fast," Elysia cautioned him with a big grin as she finished off her own meal and hopped out of her seat to walk over to Alphonse, who was still washing dished, so that he could wash hers too. Nodding his head in understanding, Ed started to consume as much food as his poor, unhealthy stomach would allow. Unfortunately, he didn't get very far into his meal. True, it was probably one of the best meals he had eaten in months, but it was physically impossible for him to finish it. Cursing every inch of his stomach, that was still use to the pathetically small amount of food he used to get, Edward apologized to Gracia.

"It's alright, if you can't eat it then you can't. There's no need to shove it down your throat on my behalf. Besides, compared to last week, I'd say that your eating has improved a lot," she comforted him. Alphonse laughed from the sink and agreed. Edward then excused himself from the table, whacking Al on the head lightly as he passed him, and hobbled back upstairs. He vaguely wondered where Winry disappeared to, but soon pushed the thought aside as he reach the doorknob to his room.

Time seemed to slow down just then as the door opened only to reveal some papers scattered across his bed. Looking around, Edward quickly spotted Winry staring at him from the foot of his bed while she held something in her hand; it was some type of document or photograph, he couldn't tell which.

"What is all of…," he trailed off as he noticed where all of the papers had come from. Right next to Winry was an old, worn out, brown suitcase. The same one that Edward had brought with him from the other side of the gate. The same suitcase that he had left in the corner of the room, hoping that it would one day just disappear as if it never existed. He froze in place.

Noticing his reaction, Winry tried to explain herself quickly, "I didn't mean to go through your things, and I was just trying to help you unpack. Honest," she spluttered out. Edward's face remained unchanging. It wasn't necessarily the fact that Winry was going through his things, hell she does all the time, so he was used to it, but seeing the photos laid out along some other papers lead to unwanted memories to come flooding back. Without saying anything, Edward quietly walked over to Winry and gently took the picture out of her hand.

A bitter smile appeared on his face as he looked down at the picture that was taken on his birthday with Lena and Matthias. Looking at the other things taken out of his suitcase, more photos and some papers lay there as well. But as many cherished memories each picture held, they were sad and somewhat unwanted just the same because with each memory that was attached to the pictures, a certain sadness and pain went right along with it.


End file.
